After watching the sun set on the first day of 2015, I felt the prompting to write again, having been away from the keyboard for some time. The first day of a new year is as good a time as any, isn't it?
2014 was a big year for me, full of lots of hard work, self-discovery and progress. To say I leaned into the collar and shouldered the load would be accurate, and something of which I'm rather proud. "Progress, not perfection" has been my mantra and has served me well, both here on the farm and in a new full-time career away from the farm. So yes, one could say I now have two full-time jobs... and yes, its been a challenge. Sometimes more than a challenge... as in "Dear God, what have I done? Just how am I supposed to do this, keep everything running, everyone happy & healthy, and my head above water???"
Truth is, I DON'T. I've had to learn to ask for, and accept, help when its available. I've had to establish and refine routines that keep things on an even keel. I've had to learn the limits of what my body can handle, or suffer the consequences. I've had to let some things go, learn to say "no", become a morning person and one who goes to bed at a decent time, and attempt to acquire the skills of self-care. Right now I'm experiencing a great deal of back pain, something which had not been an issue for years, because I'd forgotten sensible limits. Its a not-so-gentle reminder that I'm not getting any younger, but definitely need to get smarter and learn some finesse... oh, and work on "strengthening my core". Yay.
This past year has not been a easy one, but it has been so valuable. The truth is, I'm happy; probably happier than ever before. I love my work at home, on the farm and in the floral industry. I've made the decision that if something isn't necessary, beautiful or positive or inspiring or enjoyable, it does not deserve my time or attention. Yes, I still go to the dentist, clean the chicken coop and scrub the toilets, but just consider those things to be necessary and make the most of them.
I'm still overwhelmed sometimes, and other times just plain tired or hurting (or both). The good news, however, is that my family and friends are so incredibly helpful and supportive. They have been there to encourage, to advise, to help with child care or chores or whatever was needed on a given day. They have been patient with my need for rest and solitude when the opportunity presents itself. They have been my cheer team, comic relief, rescue squad and support group. Without them, none of this would be possible.
I am so very, truly, blessed, and hopeful for the future.
Happy 2015. May it be the best year yet.